Looks Do Count!

“I’m so ugly!” I said to my mother as we were walking to the store one day. I was around eight years old at the time.

“Looks don’t count!” was my mother’s response. She was trying to teach me good values.

She was right, but she was wrong.

She was right in the sense that one’s outward appearance is not what matters as far as a person’s worth. My parents had good values – they believed it is a person’s character that “counts.”

God says has the same value, “…man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart” (I Samuel 16:7).

God cares about who we are as people – our character. And that’s what we should care about concerning others.

However, the first part of that verse,” Man looks on the outward appearance” is true. People do look and judge from our appearance, so it does count for something. If people have a certain “first impression” of someone, they might not take the time to get to know them.

Like it or not, our appearance speaks. It says something. It might say, “Hipster, nerd, business man, rich, poor, artsy, sleazy…”

Seeing that how we present ourselves, says something, what do we want to say?

I have known people whose appearance says one thing, but then when I have gotten to know them, I find that that is not who they are. They are different from what their appearance portrays.

For those of us who know Jesus, we want to represent Him appropriately. Happily, there is not just one kind of “look” that does that – God’s children are different and we can express ourselves differently. But how we do choose to appear – from our clothing, to our smile (or lack thereof), says something to people.

It is what is in your heart, that counts the most.

But looks do count, so I want to be intentional in how I present myself.

At the same time, it is important to realize that when we look at others, we shouldn’t judge by appearance. We can’t really tell what a person’s character is like by how they appear. Although my mother was wrong in one sense, she was also right.

The above was a heron I saw while walking in a park by the water. I stopped to look at it, because after all, herons are more rare than seagulls and geese. Then this heron moved and stretched out and I gasped! Because, this:

The second photo is the same bird as the first photo! The very same bird went from looking dumpy to looking elegant. Nothing about who the bird was changed. His capabilities, his habits, his tendencies remained the same. Only his appearance changed as he stretched himself out. 

When you see someone, don’t judge them by how they appear. It doesn’t tell us very much at all about who they really are. Their looks shouldn’t count.

But as for yourself – as for myself – let’s take care to think of how we want to appear, even something as simple as putting on a smile, because, to some extent, looks do count.

Hope

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

These are difficult times we are living in for many reasons. Some days things seem pretty dark. But always there is hope.

The words below the photo were spoken thousands of years ago by the prophet Jeremiah. Things were so very bleak for his people (my people – the Jewish people) and for him, personally. The first twenty verses of this third chapter of Lamentations (Jeremiah’s lamentations) detail the excruciating anguish – physical, mental, spiritual – of this man, this prophet of God.

After lamenting for quite a while, he says (v. 20) “My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me” (that is, his soul is remembering all the anguish). “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:” (He is in anguish, but he is about to purposely turn his thoughts to something) – “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in Him.”

He knew. Jeremiah knew that God’s love and His mercies never end. They are new every morning. God’s faithfulness is great. God is his portion and Jeremiah said because of all this, he would hope in God.

Me too.

As the storm clouds gather. As we are losing precious freedoms that we used to have. As people are cancelled for a non-woke opinion, as good is said to be evil and evil is said to be good, I will hope in God. As people precious to me are hurting, whether physically, mentally, emotionally, I will hope in God. As the future is so uncertain, I will hope in God. Because great is His faithfulness. His mercies never come to an end. He is my portion and I will hope in Him.

His mercies are new. Every morning.

There is hope.

Focus on…?

I was on a walk today, and I saw this:

I took a closer look and saw this:

And then I focused even closer and saw this:

How beautiful! But only after I took the time to look up close – to focus on the beauty that was not noticeable from a glance or from afar.

Each day is filled with all sorts of things – maybe some are happy or beautiful, maybe some are sad, others are annoying. What are we going to focus on? It’s as if what we focus on is the thing that gets bigger, that dominates.

We have to deal with the sad things, and we have to look and even focus on, to some extent, the broken things so that we can fix them. Ugly things exist. But there is always beauty somewhere. And it is worth focusing on.

On this morning’s walk, where I took these photos, there were a lot of geese and therefore a lot of goose poo on the walkway. I glanced ahead at the goose poo while I walk, so that I don’t step on it, but I am not focusing on it.

I am focusing on the beautiful scenery. So yes, I have to navigate the ugly, but I don’t have to focus on it. I focus on the beautiful things that restore my soul. We need to deal with the mundane, the broken, and the ugly, but let’s focus on the beautiful. We’ll be better for it.

An Inexpensive Gift

In my neighbourhood, when I am out for a walk and a person (or people) is walking toward me, we smile and/or nod and/or say hello.

Recently I was in Toronto (the largest Canadian city) for two weeks, where I took walks once or twice daily – the weather was sunny and many, many people were also walking along the ever-so-pleasant boardwalks by the water, which was my daily route. As I would see someone heading in my direction, I would be ready to make eye contact, so I could give a smile and a “hello.” But no one made eye contact. Not one of the many passersby acknowledged that I existed, nor allowed me to acknowledge them.

Back home in Ottawa, I have been going to my favorite spot to walk, and once again, just about everyone acknowledges each other’s presence with a hello, or a nod, or a “good morning!” And it feels so much better. We were made for connection, and even the fleeting connection with a stranger is helpful.

But then…

…there’s the smile. Oh the smile! One of the people I smiled and said hello to yesterday morning was a fairly elderly woman, walking slowly. I wasn’t coming toward her, I was walking behind her at a more rapid pace, so as I passed her, I turned my head to look at her and greet her. I could have legitimately passed her without making the effort, as we were headed in the same direction, but with my high regard for connection, I made the little effort.

And then…

…she smiled. A lovely, warm smile made her face a beautiful thing to behold. It was as if the sun came out on a gloomy day.

I hadn’t stopped walking as we greeted each other, and I continued on a few steps, while contemplating her beautiful smile, thinking to myself, “Should I go back and tell her? Or not?” I bandied this about in my head for a few moments, and then turning back, walked a few steps toward her and said,

“You have the most beautiful smile! It’s such a gift!”

With that, her whole face lit up.

“Thank you! I really needed that today.”

I affirmed the gift of her smile, and she said,

“I really needed to hear that. I work with elderly people with dementia.”

“Well, your smile is certainly a lovely gift to them,” I assured her as I went on my way, thankful that I told her what I was thinking and made her day.

So yes – there’s the smile. A gift we can all give. A lot of us (well me, anyway) can look rather dour when we’re just thinking, and so we need to make a conscious effort to smile at someone, along with a “hello.” It’s an inexpensive gift, but it is a gift just the same. If it’s not natural, then act. Put it on anyway. It does become more natural.

Then there’s the gift of words: “If you think something nice about someone, say it! (Unless it’s inappropriate for the situation). It is always a bit risky complimenting a stranger (It’s not the first time I have told someone they have a lovely smile) but few people will mind a compliment. Rather the opposite – for most people it will be a gift that will make their day.

So give a “good morning” with a smile, say the nice words that you’re thinking. The cost to you is minimal, and yet that gift you are giving can make a significant difference in a person’s life.

The Bible Chapter that Makes Me Angry

Anyone who knows me well knows that I love the Bible. I read it through once a year by reading portions of it every day. It encourages me, convicts me, refreshes me, inspires me.

I love the Bible.

However:

The sixty-six books of the Bible vary a lot! Some are historical, some are prophetic, some are didactic, some are poetic. When I finish one of the books and start another, I have various emotional reactions depending on which book I am about to start. If I am about to begin Isaiah, or Psalms or Hebrews, I have eager anticipation. And when I am about to start the book of Judges, I steel myself for what’s coming.

The book of Judges recounts the people of Israel turning away from God (who had delivered them from Egyptian slavery and had led them to and into the Promised Land) and worshipping idols instead. They then suffer as God allows their neighbours to oppress them. They cry out to God and He sends someone to deliver them. After a while they go back to worshipping the pagan idols and the whole process begins again. In spite of the fact that we get to see a very patient and loving God, who does not abandon His people even when they abandon Him, this cycle is depressing to read about.

But then there’s chapter nineteen.

The chapter that makes me very angry.

In this chapter a man has a concubine (basically a wife – her father is called his father-in-law) who leaves him (In some translations it says that she became angry with him) and returns to her father’s house. After four months he decides to go and “speak kindly to her and bring her back.” He stays at his father-in-law’s house for a few days, and then they start on their journey home. They stop at the town of Gibeah, where at first no one offers them hospitality (hospitality was expected in those days). Finally an old man sees them sitting in the square of the city and takes them in. Then “the men of the city, worthless fellows, surrounded the house, beating on the door.” They told the man of the house to send out his guest so that they could have sex with him. The host says, “Do not act so wickedly; since this man has come into my house, do not do this vile thing. Behold, here are my virgin daughter and his concubine. Let me bring them out now. Violate them and do with them what seems good to you, but against this man do not do this outrageous thing.” But the men would not listen to him. So the man seized his concubine and made her go out to them. And they abused her all night until the morning.” And she dies.

Do you see why I get angry? The host says it would be an outrageous thing if they violated the man to whom he had given shelter, but offers up his daughter and the man’s concubine instead? And then the man himself pushes out his concubine who gets raped all night? (The Bible is real and raw – it describes life as it was.) I am outraged that this man acted in such a self-preservation type way to the point of pushing out his concubine to be abused.

Note, though, that the last words of the book of Judges (a few chapters later) sum up life in those days: “Everyone did what was right in his own eyes” (Judges 21:25). And when everyone does what is right in their own eyes, bad things happen. Very, very bad things indeed.

Let us not do what is right in our own eyes, but what is right in God’s eyes.

A Worthy Sacrifice

“Are you okay?” my husband asked me.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” was my answer.

The truth was, I was sort of fine. That is, I should have been fine. But I was sort of not fine. There was nothing actually wrong except my attitude.

Circumstances (one child was sick, another one was working at her new job) had me doing my chores and everyone else’s. And I wasn’t pleased. I was inwardly grumpy (only I guess I wasn’t hiding it too well for my husband to be asking me if I was okay).

Later that day I realized just how wrong my grumpy attitude was: serving is what we are called to do. If we have “presented our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God” that is our “spiritual worship” (Romans 12:1). In other words, if we are doing what God wants us to do; if we are obeying God, that’s our worship.

In my case, I was doing what I was supposed to be doing (all those tasks, one after the other), but my attitude was all wrong. It’s like offering a blemished sacrifice to God. Back in the days of Temple worship, God’s people were supposed to offer unblemished sacrifices, sacrifices worthy of the Creator, God.

I repented of my attitude.

And I am choosing to offer only unblemished sacrifices to God – to serve with a joyful and a thankful heart – a worthy sacrifice to the King of Kings.

Seeking Beauty

In the last year, the year of the pandemic, I have tried to take a walk every day. I prefer to walk in the woods or by water as I find walking in such settings refreshes my soul. There is so much beauty, and I often think of lyrics from a song by Rich Mullins: “There is so much beauty around us, but just two eyes to see, and everywhere I go, I’m looking.” Sometimes the beauty is obvious, but sometimes we need to look for it. Perhaps you’re not near woods or water, but maybe a neighbour has some pretty flowers. And no matter where you live, there are always sunrises and sunsets. I believe it’s helpful to our well-being to look for and appreciate the beauty.

There is beauty in people. Sometimes it’s hard to see. I have found that the last years have been years of increasing division and polarization, with people of one view having disdain and contempt for those with a different view. We are forgetting that we are all human beings with similar needs and desires such as wanting to live in peace, be in good community with love and acceptance. Everyone has the same needs, although we have different ideas or beliefs on how to get there.

But what if, instead of looking down on people who are different from us, we looked for the beauty in them? I believe if we look for that beauty, we will find it.

What if we made it a point each and every day to look for beauty in our friends and family; yes, but in others as well and actually told them what we see?

I think it would be life changing both for us, as well as for the people we speak to.

Let’s look for the beauty in our neigbours, in the person ahead of us in the grocery store, in the cashier. And when we find something, let’s tell them. Let’s go one step further and dare to look for the beauty in people with opposite political views from ours. And then let’s tell them!

I would love to hear about your interactions! Feel free to come back here and comment.

To Serve, With Love

A memory came to my mind this morning: At one point in my childhood, my father worked on passenger trains. He’d be gone for a few days, then my mother would pick him up at the train station and bring him home (he’d be really tired). He would slowly climb up the stairs to our upper duplex and wearily enter our home. And as he stood there, I would scoot over as fast as I could and untie his shoelaces, so he didn’t have to. I am pretty sure he had asked me or my siblings to do this the first few times he came home, exhausted, but I know that eventually I did this service for him without his request. And I delighted to do this for him, because he was my dad and I loved him.

As this memory came, it was precious to me. In this very vivid, colourful memory, there was love. I could feel it as I remembered. I didn’t resent this “menial” task, crouching or kneeling on the floor beside my father’s feet, untying his shoelaces, because I loved him and was glad to help him in this way.

And this got me thinking – thinking about how we are all to serve one another, and how it ought to be a delight when we are serving someone we love.

And then it came to me, how we are called to love everyone…everyone!

Serving all people with love.

How would that be for a world changer?

Exercise

Exercise. Many of us have experienced that when we begin a new form of exercise, be it swimming, walking, running, playing a new sport, using weights, at the beginning we don’t do it that well. But as we continue to do it, we get better. It’s pretty simple, really.

I was thinking recently of a command in the Bible: “Be thankful.” There are many such directives from God that we don’t think of as commandments. We tend to think of commandments as “Don’t steal. Don’t lie. Don’t murder.” But there are so many more other things that God tells us, and one of them is: “Be thankful.”

Some of us are born with a more positive, thankful disposition. Others aren’t. But I believe that everyone can exercise the thankfulness muscle, and improve, just as physical exercise improves our physical ability. Besides being told to be thankful by God (which should be good enough for those who claim to want to follow Him), there are studies done by neurologists that show that the pathways to our brain made by thankfulness have a positive impact on our brains and overall health vs. negativity, which has a detrimental effect on our brains and overall health.

So I encourage us all to exercise. Exercise being thankful.

A year and a half ago, I read an article by someone who said that every morning she writes down in a journal three things that she is thankful for from the day before. So I began doing that. Some days there are way more than three, and I admit that some days I have had to work a little bit harder to find three. I recently skimmed over what I have written down in the last year and a half and was encouraged by all the blessings.

Over the many years I have lived, I have on occasion been really irritated by someone close to me and found that as I right down a list of all the things that I appreciate about that person, my attitude changes and I am able to be thankful for them.

As well as exercising your thankfulness muscle privately and towards God, I encourage you to exercise telling others what you are thankful about them – whether it’s family members, friends, the cashier at the store, or someone else who serves you in some way. A “thank you” with a big smile (they can hear the smile in your voice underneath your mask) will brighten their day, which will brighten yours.

All ready to exercise with me and get fit in the thankfulness department? Give me your ideas and suggestions, or just let me know what you are thankful for.

I went on a walk

I went on a walk and what did I see?

First of all, let me say that I had things on my mind. Sad things. Naturally, as I was walking, I was thinking of these things. I could have easily missed the beauty, being preoccupied with my thoughts. But as I walked on a concrete path in the middle of a vast expanse of field, I began to notice the abundance of wild flowers all around me. And I as I looked, I was in awe. The beauty and variety amazed me and once again, pointed to an awesome Creator! And I became balanced. The sad things didn’t go away, but noticing the beauty which points to our Creator, re-grounded me.

I could say so much more, but I won’t. I simply want to encourage you that even in the midst of hard things, in the midst of sadness, there is still beauty and the One who made it all. May we see this, may we know this, may we be balanced by this.