An Inexpensive Gift

In my neighbourhood, when I am out for a walk and a person (or people) is walking toward me, we smile and/or nod and/or say hello.

Recently I was in Toronto (the largest Canadian city) for two weeks, where I took walks once or twice daily – the weather was sunny and many, many people were also walking along the ever-so-pleasant boardwalks by the water, which was my daily route. As I would see someone heading in my direction, I would be ready to make eye contact, so I could give a smile and a “hello.” But no one made eye contact. Not one of the many passersby acknowledged that I existed, nor allowed me to acknowledge them.

Back home in Ottawa, I have been going to my favorite spot to walk, and once again, just about everyone acknowledges each other’s presence with a hello, or a nod, or a “good morning!” And it feels so much better. We were made for connection, and even the fleeting connection with a stranger is helpful.

But then…

…there’s the smile. Oh the smile! One of the people I smiled and said hello to yesterday morning was a fairly elderly woman, walking slowly. I wasn’t coming toward her, I was walking behind her at a more rapid pace, so as I passed her, I turned my head to look at her and greet her. I could have legitimately passed her without making the effort, as we were headed in the same direction, but with my high regard for connection, I made the little effort.

And then…

…she smiled. A lovely, warm smile made her face a beautiful thing to behold. It was as if the sun came out on a gloomy day.

I hadn’t stopped walking as we greeted each other, and I continued on a few steps, while contemplating her beautiful smile, thinking to myself, “Should I go back and tell her? Or not?” I bandied this about in my head for a few moments, and then turning back, walked a few steps toward her and said,

“You have the most beautiful smile! It’s such a gift!”

With that, her whole face lit up.

“Thank you! I really needed that today.”

I affirmed the gift of her smile, and she said,

“I really needed to hear that. I work with elderly people with dementia.”

“Well, your smile is certainly a lovely gift to them,” I assured her as I went on my way, thankful that I told her what I was thinking and made her day.

So yes – there’s the smile. A gift we can all give. A lot of us (well me, anyway) can look rather dour when we’re just thinking, and so we need to make a conscious effort to smile at someone, along with a “hello.” It’s an inexpensive gift, but it is a gift just the same. If it’s not natural, then act. Put it on anyway. It does become more natural.

Then there’s the gift of words: “If you think something nice about someone, say it! (Unless it’s inappropriate for the situation). It is always a bit risky complimenting a stranger (It’s not the first time I have told someone they have a lovely smile) but few people will mind a compliment. Rather the opposite – for most people it will be a gift that will make their day.

So give a “good morning” with a smile, say the nice words that you’re thinking. The cost to you is minimal, and yet that gift you are giving can make a significant difference in a person’s life.