As I was blithely reading “The Tale of Two Cities” to some of my children this morning, the phone rang. It was one of my adult sons, who was calling to urge me to write a blog today as it is “Pregnancy Loss and Infant Remembrance Day.” He seemed to think that as I have experienced seven miscarriages in my life, I was qualified to write such a blog. I didn’t think I was and I gave him some reasons. But he maintained that I did have something to say.
So here I am.
One reason that I gave my son for not being the right one to write such a blog, is that in spite of the fact that I have had seven miscarriages, I do have ten healthy children (most of whom are adults – I feel funny calling them “children”). So yes, while I have experienced loss, I have also experienced enormous blessing.
What can I say to the woman who has had only miscarriages, with no living children?
Another reason I did not want to write such a blog, is that each and every person’s story is unique: some might still grieve for that baby (or those babies) that they lost ever so long ago, others might have not really wanted that pregnancy and experienced relief at a miscarriage (and may or may not feel guilt over those emotions), others might have experienced some lost but have gotten completely over it, others…you see what I mean?
What can I say to each situation when they are so different? I myself was in a different space for each of my various miscarriages and I would not presume that all other women felt what I did, or feel what I do.
But then I realized that I do have something to say. I can tell you what I know. It applies to all of humanity, whether you have experienced a miscarriage or the death of a born infant, or have experienced some other trauma, physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual.
The best thing you or I or anyone can do is go to God. What I mean is: communicate with God, our caring Heavenly Father. Tell Him your feelings, whatever they may be. He can handle your sorrow, your anger, your confusion, your guilt. Wait in silence before Him, let Him communicate with you. And read His Word, the Bible. Because it is full of wisdom and comfort and so much goodness!
If you are reading this and have no relationship with God, but would like to, I’d be glad to talk with you about that. I couldn’t do life without Him.